Friday 28 August 2009

Lies, damned lies and ....

So Mr. Advani, our former Home Minister says he knew nothing about the release of the terrorists till he found out from the newspapers? I'll need all the salt in the world to gulp that down. Does he think that all the 108 crore Indians are asses? That we have no commonsense? For God's sake, he was the Home Minister then - a minister who was the second-in-command in the Cabinet! How could anyone release the terrorists without his consent? This shows him in very bad light. Either he should confess that he has lied or consult a physician for curing his amnesia.

It is not Mr. Advani alone who is making really confusing statements. Mr. Santaram, a nuclear scientist stated that our Pokhran experiment was not so successful; a statement that has since been rubbished by the rest of the nuke establishment. Now it would be interesting to see who is right. However, I doubt if they will release the documents regarding the experiment.

The next story that made the most amusing reading was the one about a 'love-affair' between late Benazir Bhutto and Imran Khan. Vehemently denied by all sides, this story still captured my imagination. Both look dashing, are brave and beautiful/handsome and life would have been more interesting if they had married. I personally have no great opinion of Sardari or the 'Government' of Pakistan. Everyone knows that it is actually the military that holds the reigns there. Who is bothered whether it is a Bhutto or a Sardari or a Khan or anyone who wears the puppet crown there?

The 'Khan frisk' issue refuses to die out with the actor threatening to frisk a particular lady when she comes to India. My dear fellow, the fellows at the airport authority only wanted some revenge for the over-emotional acting you do. At times I have really wanted to kill the directors who made these movies - which break into a song-and-dance sequence in the most inexplicable situations. I demand that all the actors of these movies be frisked at all the airports - foreign and Indian; and that all the directors who make such movies be handed over to the Salwa Judum till they start making sensible movies.

A better move might be banning the songs, now that we are planning to ban reality-shows, books and all the stuff you can possibly ban. After that you can ban the elections, ask women to wear veils and stay at home. Then you can pass laws to whiplash anyone who doesn't subscribe to your view of morality. You can also ban appeals - so that we end up like some of the nations in the Middle East.

Of all the people I do not like, the worst are those who think that great infrastructure can make up for the loss of individual freedom. I don't care whether I live in a jungle - as long as I am free to do what I want.

There is nothing more glorious than a free bird soaring high.


Monday 24 August 2009

Life as a 'swine flu' patient

My troubles started a week ago. To cut a long story short, I was rather lax about my companions in the bus (I didn't have much choice), my food and my habits in general and so developed all the symptoms they give in the newspaper ads regarding swine flu. Now, I should have been more careful, but I thought that it was only my tonsils giving trouble again. I rushed to the clinic I usually visit, and they told me that they didn't treat patients suffering from fever. I told them that I only had a sore throat. My fever was too mild then; I didn't even feel it. The nurse there checked and told me that I had fever; a mild one though: 99.4 F. I was scared I would be turned out. Luckily, I wasn't. The doctor whom I was asked to consult was not my usual doctor. The old one is a lady in the real sense of the word and she used to explain to me, every time, what my disease was, and what medicines I should take, and why I should take them. She was quite busy then and that was the reason why I was sent to this other doctor.

Now, this new doc seemed more worried than me about my disease. I tried to convince her that it was only my tonsillitis creating trouble again - I am supposed to avoid all cold food, but I generally believe that exceptions were the rule for me with regards to this advice. She checked my pressure and noted it to be 80/100. The pulse was normal. But the pressure reading sent a chill into my heart. My cousin had died only a few weeks back due to a cardiac arrest preceded by a low pressure condition. My dad's cousin too had died rather inexplicably, but now we have come to the conclusion that it was the result of lung infection. Anyway, this situation was rather annoying - I wasn't feeling really that sick - no dizzy head and I was thinking pretty logically all the time. I was sure that the doctor had made a spelling mistake but I did not ask her - she seemed so worried when I told her that my stomach had been upset for the past two days and that I was recovering form it. Finally she gave me the prescription I wanted - an antibiotic, the usual Vitamin B Complex capsules and a new one - an iodine solution for gargling.

Gargling with the iodine solution was a novel experience, to say the least. I was asked to make a 1:1 mixture of the iodine solution with water. I found this solution to be a rather alarming violetish brown colour and adding water didn't improve its appearance much. Besides,as my sis remarked: It smelt like toilet lotion. To pour it in my mouth was a bit disgusting but I did it.

Well, the condition of my throat began to improve. I began to eat 'normal' food as I was to eat the dreaded antibiotic. I was surviving purely on ORS for the past two days.

The antibiotic was one of a kind - eat one and you'll find yourself too weak to move out of the bed for two days. The course ends only today and I still cannot keep my eyelids open.

I made mom and dad buy bread, oranges and all the 'healthy' foodstuffs that doctors normally recommend - and stayed away from my normal diet. (I won't give you the particulars but I assure you that mom strongly disapproves of it.)

That evening my aunt called and mom told her the particulars of my disease. My aunt got worried. Seems a person nearby had died after having the same symptoms as I had. She got so worked up that my parents decided to take a second opinion. I agreed. I was rather worried about the 100 part of my BP reading.

This time I was taken to a hospital - as soon as dad told the lady at the reception counter that I had fever and sore throat, she rushed me into the Casualty. All the people there were wearing the famous N95 masks and looking at me with such pity that I almost read my obituary in my mind. At first my BP was checked. Then the doc asked me about my symptoms. Then they grew a bit more worried and they checked my BP for the second time. This time, I got really worried. Why the hell were they checking my BP for the second time? I showed them the earlier prescription. The doc nodded approvingly and asked me to complete the course. She gave an additional prescription for two more medicines - one for cold and the other for fever. I was back home after the doc told me to rest for two days and get admitted in the General Hospital if the condition worsened. That was the laughable part; I knew of the opinion the General Hospital has in the minds of my parents. Mind you, it is not because of the incompetency of the doctors, it is only that the institution is too crowded given our burgeoning population and the disinterest of the government in improving the basic facilities.

The doctors in public hospitals suffer a lot - the government and the public expect too much of them - they are made to suffer when people suffer, but their salaries are well below par. It is a pretty pathetic situation for them.

Two days later I found from the newspaper that the antibiotic I was taking was the one to be prescribed for people with mild swine flu.

I had no problems during daytime, but I was really scared during night. I knew that this disease - I had heard too many stories about it, and I knew that none of them was an exaggeration - was a really unpredictable one. I slept with my mobile phone in the bed - just in case I couldn't cry out if the condition became really serious and allotted the speed dials. I knew that I had trouble in breathing. My sis had recorded the sound I made while breathing - a moaning, wailing type of sound. One night when my mom slept in my room to make sure I was alright, she used to wake me after every few hours to ask me why I was wailing - she was pretty scared too.

Thankfully, I have a great love for life and God is kind enough to me; though I do not know how to thank Him for being so gracious to such a wicked person that I am. I took my medicines in time without complaint, gargled with that iodine solution (my throat pricked a lot after that) and ate the food that was given without a murmur. (If I had been in the position of my mom, I'd have remarked that I was a far better girl when I was sick than when I was healthy.) So now I am, quite cheerful after a week of the wicked flu, suffering from a minor cough and a cold, barred from going out lest I infect others or worsen my own condition.

I was sort of a VIP all these days. I got all I wanted and save the scolding I received from mom whenever she found me reading Sherlock Holmes for the umpteenth time, I have nothing to complain about. I am really grateful to the doctors who treated me, my parents and my sis who cared for me, my relatives and friends who inquired after me everyday and above all to the God Almighty who saves me whenever I am in trouble. Where would I be, but for Him?

God bless us all!

Monday 17 August 2009

Much ado about nothing

King Khan was forced to face an 'ordeal' at the Newark airport. Quite naturally, most of the newspapers today have this news as their headlines : "I don't feel like stepping on U.S soil: Shah Rukh." Can't blame him. I'd have felt the same way if I had been treated that way. Luckily, I am not a Khan and I do not think I'll be going to the Newark airport in my lifetime. If I get a chance, I guess I'll try to skip it.

Another main news article was: Anil Ambani visits Guruvayoor temple in Kerala. A nice photo was given by the side of the article which was essentially about the royal reception given to the younger Ambani by the members of the Devaswom board.

Then there was also an article about our Home Minister watching the World Badminton Championship in the conspicuous absence of NSG commandos. Another one about a really controversial lady going shopping in the national capital. And many more such articles which had no right to be in the paper.All this after devoting about 30% of the space for the advertisement. (Can't blame them. After all, the newspapers may become unaffordable otherwise.) This is the case of a typical newspaper in India.

Do I care whether the Home Minister watched the World Badminton Championship or the World Boxing Championship? If the lady goes shopping, can't reporters let her do that peacefully and leave us also in peace? We are customers and we demand full value for our money. Not the crap you publish in about 70% of the space. Why do they think newspaper subscriptions are going down all over the world? The readers get the latest news round the clock, without any interruption, on the net. They get what they want to read - and not what the newspapers dictate.

After publishing all that, I believe that the newspapers have no right to criticize the stars they made about their behaviour. You are the ones who made them.

Sunday 16 August 2009

The Jinnah Fans Association

At first, it was Mr. Advani. Now it is Mr. Jaswant Singh. Jinnah is rising from his ashes, like a Phoenix, to haunt Indian politics. What more will we get to hear in the coming days? Mr. Singh's interview with Mr. Thapar was a revelation. I never knew that a political leader cares that much about a minority community in India. I know Congress doesn't care but at least it puts up a show to that effect. The BJP, unabashedly doesn't care and unapologetically announces it. This sudden love for Jinnah in the minds of BJP leaders perplexes me. Perhaps, they admire the man. He could do what they could not. Carve out a nation for him to rule. After all, an Islamic Republic of Pakistan was created that follows the laws of Sharia, not a Hindu Republic of Bharat that followed Manusmriti.

I do not think that Gandhi or Nehru were saints. Nor do I think that Jinnah was a demon. Nevertheless, I believe that all three of them, besides all the leaders then, should be held responsible for the partition. They were not saints, and I do not find any point in portraying them as such. They were human beings, like you and me. They thought their decision to be the right one - as we think ours are. They could not foresee the future. Nor can we be sure of what would have happened if there had been no partition. So it is pretty pointless to discuss the past when we have a bright future in front of us. Which brings me to the question:

Why on earth am I writing this?

Saturday 15 August 2009

...some are more equal...

APJ Abdul Kalam being frisked at an airport created a huge controversy though the former President had no problem with it. Our leaders cry hoarse when their Z+ security cover is withdrawn though they actually do not require it. Our cricket players need special treatment from the anti-doping agencies to protect their privacy. We put up with the preferential treatment being given to the 'more equal' among us. Who said that 'All men are born equal'?

Happy Independence Day to all.

Friday 14 August 2009

This one really takes the cake.

I read a very interesting news article now. It is the funniest thing I have ever read and I believe it to be the work of some prankster. It should have been saved for the next April first but I guess he was not in a mood to wait till then. I ought to warn you that all Malayalis are going to find this hilariously funny. This is the article:

Kerala receives threat of multiple bomb blasts

Fri, Aug 14 11:03 AM

Kannur (Kerala) Aug 14 (IANS) The cyber police cell in Kerala has traced an e-mail threat from the United Arab Emirates, warning of widespread bomb blasts in the state, if a separate Muslim state, comprising districts of north Kerala, is not created.

Speaking to IANS, inspector general of police Tomin J. Thachenkery said Friday that the e-mail was received Thursday at a few media offices.

'We immediately began our work and found that the mail is from United Arab Emirates based Etisalat and the domain is that of Yahoo. Since a first information report is required to trace out the IP of the computer, a case has been registered here at the Kannur Town police station.'

He added that the e-mail was written by Zakhir Hussain who claims to be the head of the newly formed Malabar Mujahid which has its headquarters in Karachi and has support from ISI (Inter-services intelligence) of Pakistan and LeT (Lashkar-e-Toiba).

'If their demand for a separate Muslim state is not met, then bombs will be deployed across the state and for that they have already shipped seven kilograms of RDX. The first of the series of bomb blasts will begin with a sample one today (Friday), being the Independence Day of Pakistan,' said the letter, according to Thachenkery.

Following the e-mail, the state has been put on high alert and instructions have gone to all district headquarters to remain vigilant.

Indo Asian News Service


Raising the standards

I got a mail from a reader that my blog was maintaining an average level. Well, as for me, I think it is well below that. I wrote pure nonsense in most of the entries. Instead of writing about the things I really wanted to write about, I have always focused on totally irrelevant things, fearing censure. I will admit that I am a very insecure person. I fear that I will be misunderstood. So I cloak myself with a show of joviality. I show respect to people I have nothing but contempt for. I dare not call a spade a spade - I am far too sensible for that. Still, sometimes you receive a jolt that makes you sit down and evaluate your life and deeds. The mail which I mentioned above was one such jolt. The first reaction was: "Oh my God! How dare this fellow convey this obvious fact to me knowing that I will be obviously offended?" I sincerely appreciate that fellow's candidness and his nerve in doing that. If we had more people like him, the humanity would have vanished long ago, leaving behind a really peaceful earth!

That shock was followed by an introspection - something I avoid because they are actually very painful. I know that I suppress my opinions and emotions heavily. I want peace around me more than anything else and I know that this is true for most of the people around me.

I have a split personality - one, a jovial, foolish person you must have seen in most of the earlier posts, and another one, a dark, too intellectual, too sharp face that I normally do not show outside. Sometimes, I do wonder which one actually controls me. I love to be the second person all the time but I also fear and mistrust it.

So much for all the dark writing. I believe I am getting too bookish to be read. So we will now discuss some very serious issues: Necessity of a Common Civil Code in India and revamping of foreign policy.

I hereby declare that I neither support nor accept the BJP ideology. I am vehemently against its chauvinistic platform. I also declare that I believe that I am a human first and an Indian next. Any other consideration comes only after that. I also believe in the equality of all human beings.

I want to state that the Personal Laws governing the citizens of India need to be scrapped. A Common Civil Code applicable to all the citizens must be introduced instead. This code must be based on common sense and rational beliefs. It is really unbecoming of this democracy to be treating its citizens differently, on the basis of their religion. It is irrational, illogical; that is to say, it defies all explanation. It is high time that our leaders really gather all the nerve they have and work on this issue.

I know that a Common Civil Code is a dream - a dream that may never come true in my lifetime though I can call myself young.

The second thing I demand is that the government act fast on its foreign policy. Chinese influence is growing by leaps and bounds all over the world. They are using all the means they can - both economic and diplomatic whereas we are floundering at whatever we do. Africa is leaning heavily to China. We sit here, doing practically nothing when compared to what the Chinese are doing. When will we get our act together?

We should try to resolve the problems we have with our neighbours. After all, we cannot choose them. When the PM is making efforts to ensure peace in the subcontinenet, I believe that the people must support him. Hostility with neighbours is quite costly. We are already heavily affected by the global economic recession. Why create more problems for ourselves? Why should people make such a hue and cry over the Baloch part of the Sharm-El-Sheikh statement? We said that we are not doing anything to promote the Baloch movement. What's wrong with that? Needless arguments over a pointless issue; just to show we are good at it.




Thursday 13 August 2009

Finally an engineer

The Kerala University finally announced the results. I got away with a mindblowing CGPA of 8.32. It is so because I was scared I may fail this time. These University results are similar to the Tughlaq reign. You never know what will happen next. Thank God for large, Mt. Everest sized favours. I am so relieved now that I feel like jumping up and down. I am sure I behaved really crazy when I got to know the result. I was standing in the bus stand when the feeling really began sinking. Oh God! Finally, I am a full-fledged engineer. No more 'swords of Damocles' in my life!!! Whew!!!




Monday 10 August 2009

Oil exploration in Trivandrum

Everyone is talking of the oil exploration off the Kochi coast but no one is paying any notice to the exploratory efforts in Trivandrum. In fact, the whole city has been dug up - if there were a war going on, I could have said that they were trenches - but as there is nothing of the sort and there is a real chance of finding oil somewhere around, I suspect that I smell something oily. This whole fuss about Kerala Water Authority digging up roads to lay waterpipes is just a farce - they're after oil, mates!

There was a cartoon some days back in the newspaper - a kid was learning his history lessons - when he reads that U.S had dropped an n-bomb over Japan, he asks his mom, Why? Did they have Japan Drinking Water Programme too?"

Poor Japan! It doesn't know how hated this country's name has become in this city! And all it did was to give aid to the Kerala Government to renovate the water supply system in the city. The KWA, with great panache, dug up all the roads it could find in the city. Some people have lost their lives in accidents that were caused by the potholes created in the process. A child actually wrote in his Board examination that the programme was a public nuisance as it killed people.

So I humbly request the KWA to complete the digging, sorry, oil exploration as soon as possible. And after that, for God's sake, repair the roads!


I want to talk

So Mr. Muraleedharan's entry into Congress has been stalled by the warhorses in the KPCC. It gives Malayalis a lot to smile about - his antics, his statements, his feuds and everything regarding him. There was a cartoon in one of the pages of a leading newspapers - Murali crying as he lies in a cradle for abandoned children. That was a cartoon over which we had a wholesome laugh after a long time.

Mr. Singh, our dear Prime Minister seems to be running into a lot of trouble right now - a needless joint statement with the Pak PM, the EUMA (I don't like what I read) and the Ambani feud over gas, besides the really pressing problem of rising retail prices.

I sincerely do not understand how inflation can be negative when the price of anything I buy is going up exponentially. Vegetable prices are increasing too, and now the cheapest things to eat are eggs and milk. Seems our Civil Supplies Minster was right when he said some months back that Malayalis should live on milk and eggs. Everyone had ridiculed him then and now I see that he is having the last laugh. Sorry, Mr. Minister!

We had a lot of noise surrouding the striking down of Article 377. I wholeheartedly welcome the judgement. This should have been done long ago. They should also decriminalise 'attempt to suicide'. People do not try to suicide unless they are really emotionally or psychologically disturbed. It serves no point if they are made to serve jail terms or face police harassment for that. They should be given proper treatment, rehabilitated and let off. We are living in a civilzed society, I hope!

Going vegan

I am, or rather was, the strictest non-vegetarian in the world. I wouldn't touch my plate without a piece of meat, fish or egg before me. (I preferred fish.) Now all that has changed.

It has got nothing to do with the steely resolve of mine. I am rather more like Mark Twain -"Quitting smoking is easy. I have done it a hundred times." My mom has stopped cooking non-veg food and so I am forced to eat green grass! :-(

For some time, I tried to resist eating. Finally, feeling so hungry that I couldn't have even discerned the taste of what I was eating, I pushed in some food into my mouth. Now I follow this as a routine - I don't eat unless I can help it. And for the first time in my life, I am losing my weight rather than gaining it. The sense of loss is overbearing. I miss most of my cheeks. If it goes on like this, my parents will not be able to distinguish me from my sis. (She is lean and I come under the category 'too many extra pounds'.) I miss the totally unhealthy, fatty, delicious food I used to have. I don't know how long mom is going to continue this. Dad is talking of making the whole family vegan. I am sincerely praying for a job that would take me to one of the Scandinavian countries where I hope they have fish and meat as their staple diet, like me.

Arab countries aren't liberal with women, you see.

Sunday 2 August 2009

Living in fear of death

Over the past two weeks, I have been living in fear of death - not only mine but anyone known to me. It has almost become an obsession with me. Sometimes, I wake up at night and check that everything is right. It really scares me - I can't sleep at night and this fear is eating me up. And I know that I am not alone. There are many people I know who are dealing with this fear.

It all began two weeks ago - on the night of July 17, we were informed that my cousin Nimmy, who was of my same age had passed away. It was really unbelievable, as mom had visited them only the week before and she was in the pink of health, preparing for her job at a bank. She is six months younger than me and her death left us really devastated. The doctors who did the biopsy declared the cause to be a cardiac arrest. A cardiac arrest? At her age, the probability of having a cardiac arrest would be one in a million, as she never had any complaints about her health before. We couldn't reconcile ourselves to her death. Her father had died due to a cardiac arrest, too; but then, he was comparatively older and we could at least bring ourselves to believe it, albeit after a long time. This was really mind-numbing.

This should not really have been a shock for us. We too had too many near-death experiences. I have lost count of how many I had. The boat in which I travelled once sank into a river. And the van or trucker in which I travelled to school inevitably got into at least two accidents every year. Mom's is the worst - a brain haemorrhage. Luckily I happened to be around and got her into hospital just in time to save her.

Then too many news of death started pouring in - my dad's cousin's wife died, inexplicably, after she almost recovered from a fever; the father of my best friend at school died; my mom's favourite teacher and then one of her friends died and many others too - to the extent that it has become almost a joke, and a very terrible one at that.
So much so that everytime the landline rings, my heart races. I can't bear it anymore. There is no longer any interest in the things I used to do, and I have become a net addict. I just need some time before I can really reconcile myself to all this. I keep laughing and so does papa, mom and sis, but we all know that there are really deep wounds beneath the masks we wear, and it is going to take some time to heal.

Today, dad called my uncle to tell him that my purse, which I had lost in the train, had been recovered. Usually, it is mom who calls my uncle.

After some time, dad told us that uncle was really worried when he called. He was fearing the worst when the phone rang. We are not alone in this fear.

Cleaning it up

So when Mr. Varkey told us that our house would be the venue of the prayer meeting this month, it really spent a chill down my spine. First of all, the house resembled an amazon jungle. Second, we did not know what a prayer meeting actually looked like. I have been only to one and that too, I had reached there at the fag end - while they were distributing the prizes. (I was supposed to collect a prize, you see;-) )

We were in panic mode, especially mom. She was tormenting papa and me with a volley of questions about the time we had spent at the prayer meeting mentioned above. That was about three years ago and now I don't even remember where the house was.

I thought I'd be able to escape as I had the GAIL test on Sunday. Then, all of a sudden, my dad's cousin's wife died and papa decided to attend the funeral. So my test got 'cancelled'. Now I'd have to help mom with cleaning.

Hercules would have had an easier task with Augean stables than me with my room. I had a great collection of little pieces of paper that became useless as time passed, lots of books (starting almost from my kindergarten. There are some missing, but that can be managed.), too many clothes (I don't like to this, but most of them are not to my taste and the rest are not to my shape.) and other waste materials you can reasonably expect to find in a bedroom. The bathroom attached to the room was another story. I will not describe it simply because I do not find words to describe it. I guess it would suffice if I say that it was grossly multicoloured.

Then I had to clean the showcase in the main hall as well. That was the most tricky part.It contained bills and receipts dating back to the Gupta empire and any mistake I made while discarding any would have far-reaching implications. "Be careful!" my mom said. I adopted the motto "When in doubt, do not throw" I recovered many things, including an 18th century photograph of pop and my sis standing in front of the Agra fort, a 17th century photograph of all of us in front of the Gateway of India. And I had been thinking that all these valuable historical records had been lost forever. I even got a horoscope of a guy who was born about fifty years ago. Nobody had any clue as to how it ended up where we found it. I washed the statuettes of St. Joseph and St. Mary; Infant Jesus now shines in His lily-white dress. I found that St.Mary's crown actually had red, and not brown colour in her crown.

"Mom, do you know what this is?" "Coal-tar?" "No, mom! It is dirt from my fan!"
Half an hour later, when Anju came home: "Guess what this is?" "Carbon particulates" I gave up. Was never strong at organic chemistry and I feared she would start naming all the organic compounds, starting with the aromatic ones. If not cancer, they would give me at least a headache. I ran away to my room. (I bet she smiled. She is always studying organic chemistry when I go to her room and maths when she comes into mine. I am getting suspicious!!!)

When I finished all that, I gave everything a wash and a scrub. It looked so neat, I thought I would faint. I had a rather brilliant idea of restricting the entry to my bathroom forever, but then decided against it as I would be accused of violation of human rights.

I went shopping after that. Had to make an egg omelette for having lunch. My mom was hard at work, and so she had not prepared anything except rice. I bought cutlets and biscuits. Mom had forgotten to buy paper napkins and so I had to run around finding a shop that sold them as most of the shops I knew had run out of stock.

I was panting when I reached home. Mom looked happy and told me I had lost a great deal of weight. (I know this meant that I still had a lot more work to do. Mom should be made a General or something. She surpasses even Dale Carnegie at everything he wrote about.)

After all the work was over, I resumed reading the 'Bandit Queen'. After reading for five minutes, I went to mom and told her: "Mom, you know, this doesn't feel like my home anymore."

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