The Mosquitoes

I have often wondered why mosquitoes have still not gone into mass extinction with all of us so bent upon killing as many of them as possible. It seems humankind is a strange race - the species it wants to protect inevitably goes extinct while those it wants to be extinct so desperately flourish, and bite us with vengeance every time, all the time.

The mosquito repellants give out fumes that give me a headache. The mosquito nets are too hot for me. I hate nets on windows as they block my view. And you can kill only so many with the electric bats.

In my experience there are many types of mosquitoes, based on whether they hum loudly or not, whether they can be killed easily, their size and whether the bite causes pain during or after the bite.

The most annoying ones are those which hum loudly and also cause pain during and after the bite. I wouldn't mind nuking the place if these could be exterminated for sure.

Last night was terrible!

The Kannur Kasargode Trip

I was planning to cancel the trip as I was still on the waiting list three hours before the train started. I wanted to go but didnt know if the Railways would be kind enough to give me at least an RAC ticket. As soon as I got out of the office, I saw that I had got an RAC. I could at least sit and go now.  After rushing back home in a superfast express and packing a small bag with whatever my hands could find at the time, I was ready. Unfortunately, my phone was not. It showed a 66 percent charged status and I became worried whether the battery would last the overnight journey.

However there was nothing I could do about it. Mom came to drop me at the railway station. I know that she still thinks of me as a kid. And I am sure my behaviour at home doesnt help.

The train journey was not enjoyable till the TTE confirmed that I had a berth to sleep on. I had supped at home; all I needed was a place to sleep and I got it.

The next morning, I woke up early and brushed my teeth. Now brushing the teeth in the train with tens of others is a fun activity. I recommend that everyone try it at least once. Went back and sat till the train  reached Payyanur railway station. I got into an auto and went to my aunt's home. My cousin and my aunt were at home when I reached there. My cousin had managed to twist her ankle and so she was effectively immobilised. It was unlike her to sit at any place for more than five minutes. I could make fun of her now that she couldn't come running to beat me up. Had a wonderful breakfast and started off to Cherupuzha in Kasargod. Kasargod is the northernmost district of Kerala. That is where my mother's parents and most of her relatives stay. They had settled in a place called Chittarikkal - my grandparents were teachers at a school there. Most of the settlers are actually from central Kerala. And old-timers still tell me of the tales of their hardship when they had first come to Kasargod.

I reached Cherupuzha and took an autorikshaw from there to my mother's home at Chittarikkal. The rubber trees had made the settlers reach and you could see the proof on the roads - all models of cars that you could find in Indian cities were passing my poor autorikshaw.

Everyone was worried I would lose my way. After all, I was going there after two years and much had changed. Fortunately, the auto driver took me home straight away. My grandmother and cousins were waiting for me. I went and met mt aunt who was staying nearby as she was leaving for Trivandrum. Then I had lunch and played a game of cards. It was fun to play the game again - reminded me of the days at Yarrows. We talked and had fun. Then I slept like a pig till it started raining. I was woken up by the sound of thunder all around me. We had our dinner after prayer. And then I slept again.

In the morning, grandmother and I went to the cemetery before attending the Mass. After the service we went to the house of my uncle and had another wonderful breakfast. We then got hold of my aunt and drove to the house where my mother was born - my mother's uncle's house. The people there were very happy to see that I had come to visit them. On my way back I met another aunt and the rest of my cousins who were at Kasargod.

After the lunch, I started travelling back to Payyanur. Went to my house but found it locked. All around me where new faces. I left the place in ten minutes and reached the railway station.

And thanks to a very dear friend of mine, I got a berth in the Maveli Express. Reached my home early in the morning at six and here I am, on the Malabar express, going to my office.

The past two days were extraordinary, and today is anything but. I am thinking now again about where my home is - I felt a strange pain in my heart when I saw the locked door at Payyanur. I felt incredibly happy when I saw the smiling faces of my family in Kollam. And I feel a sort of peace when I am at Trivandrum. Which place do I call home?

The old timers in Kasargod still talk of their nadu - the place where they originally came from - with an affection that comes from deep within. Circumstances had driven them here and they were settled here for life - for good or bad. Maybe, like them, I too will not find peace on earth as I know not where my home is.

Lost Dreams

Unlike what most people think of people who seem to be successful, their lives aren't strewn with roses. Everyone has had his or her share of failures and tragedies. But all is forgotten the moment the world labels you as a success.

Then obviously you try to live up to the label. You hide every shortcoming, cover up every failure you have had. Even if you don't cover up, you glorify it and you refuse to mourn. People forget that mourning lost dreams are also important.

So even you start believing that the mask you are wearing is your actual face. It is not. You live your success though you may be deeply unhappy inside. Yet you do not want to get out as you can't face the fear of failures and as you do not even know whether it may be the right thing to do.

Lucky are the people who have found happiness. Not those who have founs success. There is a huge difference between the two.

A Regret

I still remember each momentvof the day clearly. I was at home for the study holidays and my mother was getting ready to go to the bank. All of a sudden she collapsed into the bed and stopped talking. She was trying to talk initially but words wouldn't come out of her mouth. Then her feet went really cold. I was alarmed and called dad at office. He came in quickly and with the help of out neighbours, took her to the SUT Hospital at Pattom.

They diagnosed it as brain haemorrhage and suggested that she be taken to Shree Chithira Institute of Medical Sciences and Technology. SCIMST is a specializes in complicated cardio- and neurosurgeries. I still remember standing and crying in the middle of the junction at Pattom.

My mother's family arrived the next day. Till then my parents' friends and coworkers at SBI were helping us manage the situation. I am grateful to all of them.

Dr. Bhattacharya of SCIMST led the team that did the surgery. My mother was glad that they did not shave her hair off. It was successful. My mother soon became herself again.

One of my biggest regrets in life is that I could not meet Dr. Bhattacharya and tell him how thankful I am for saving my mother's life.

Water, water, everywhere

I have always attached the memories of my homestate with rain. And rivulets. And backwaters. It is a beautiful place full of water bodies. So I was shocked when I heard of the water shortage people back home were facing.

When I came here, I found it to be true. The water level in the well had gone abysmally low. It had not rained much last year and almost every place I visited had its own story of buying water in tankers. It sounded terrible. This is not a place well known for water scarcity. But here too, access to clean water is becoming an issue.

I had a discussion with a Planning Board Division Chief on this matter. He told me that while government was trying to find solutions, people themselves were responsible for the problem. 'We cover our land with interlocking tiles letting the water drain off into the sea. We do not allow even a drop of water to percolate down, even by mistake.'

It is true. We ourselves are to blame.

Soon, there will be 'not a drop to drink.'

Damned day!

I seem to have jinxed myself when I said that trains run on time. Today my train was two hours late.

The signalling system went down today in Kerala and my train was stopped at an intermediate station. After waiting for the train to move for around half an hour, I got out and took a local bus to the nearest bus station. From there, I boarded a low-floor AC bus to Palayam. Then there was a traffic jam in the outskirts of the city.

When the bus was not stuck up in the traffic jam, its driver was driving it like a brand-new spacecraft. I actually understood how it would be to fly in space. ISRO could actually train astronauts in such buses.

And I landed in office around an hour and a half late. Luckily, everyone else was late too, thanks to the high dependence on Indian Railways.

By evening, the system was restored. But, by then, the damage had been done.

Railways : Changing Passengers

On an average, the trains of Indian Railways carry around 20 million people each day. I just happen to be a frequent traveller these days.

When I was a kid, train journeys used to be rare. It was an occasion in itself - mom would pack the meals in banana leaves, prepare snacks for eating on the way and we would pile up books. We had no idea of knowing how late the train would be. The number of trains too were less.

Once you got on the train, there would be other families too. Adults would start talking. Kids would roam around and play. It was fun, pure fun. Food would be shared and by the time you reached your destination, people might have (a) realised they were distantly related or (b) gained new friends for life.

There would always be a lady questioning you about the details of your family and your life openly or a drunkard discussing the disintegration of Soviet Union. Good old days!

Times have changed. These days, people barely talk to each other on train. Train journeys are no longer experiences, they are a part of your daily life that you have to deal with. It is a time when you are with yourself and would not want to lose it to others trying to spy on your life.

Banana leaves have become a precious commodity. Silver foils are the norm even if someone brings packed lunches. Usually, it is the guy who asks for lunch in the train who gives you your meal. Or you would have eaten from home.

There are many moretrains too. And most of them are on time. Then there are the ubiquitous cellphones through which you keep in touch with your faraway family or friends than talking to the person sitting right next to you.

I am guilty of all these too. It is just that, sitting here waiting for the train makes me feel terribly lonely. And I long for the good old days when train journeys used to be noisy and filled witj human warmth.

Off Again

Today I am leaving Thrissur. It has been wonderful - two weeks away from home -perfect for relaxation. Now it is back to my four-hour journey schedule.

From my experience, for people of Thrissur, the town is not just a place; it is an identity none dare play with. As a footloose person, I found the whole thing to be quite amusing. You can take a person out of Thrissur, but you can't take Thrissur out of him.

It is wonderful to find people so much in love with their home. I do not know what to tell people when they ask where I am from.

But I like it this way.:-)

Shimla

The erstwhile summer capital of British India, Shimla is a place that seems to be stuck in that era. It is a major tourist destination of the state and a wonderful place to spend a week or two.
But I happened to live there through two winters. Coming from the hot southern part of the country, it was initially difficult to adjust to the bone-chilling coldness of the place. It became worse as it snowed. Snow becomes slippery as it sets and you have to be really careful if you do not want to break your leg or sprain your ankle or have a fracture in your wrist.
Summers are really pleasant, however. They take away all the bad experiences you have had and overcompensate for any trouble you have had. If you have a garden, spring would be beyond belief.
The people are honest, unlike most of the rest of the country. This is a place where you can calmly forget to lock your doors and still feel relaxed.

Bony and blithe and good and gay

I belong to the generation in which this particular nursery rhyme was taught to us without any second thought.
As I grew up, however, the meaning of the last word changed. I do not think it would be in English textbooks anymore. Which is sad as it is a beautiful, though a thoroughlt superstitious rhyme.
I think that humankind has been growing up as I did, accepting ourselves with all our faults. The realizations maybe painful at times. But accepting others as they are and giving up preconceptions about people I meet has been a major change I have seen in myself in the past few years.
I have become less bigoted and less prone to thinking that my way is right. Everything is now a shade of grey and I'm not bothered by the complexities in the world anymore. At peace with myself.
I cannot reasinably expect everyone else to be like me. Nor is the case that whatever was taught to me was the only truth. The life and this world has far more possibilities and problems than I can strive to comprehend and the least I can do is to be non-judgemental and understanding.

Eat to marry?

My parents have been trying to find a suitable groom for me for sometime now. Unfortunately, they do not have he time to regularly follow it up.

So they or I randomly express interest to guys on matrimonial sites. I am almost always quite sure nothing will work out. :P

My mother's biggest worry these days is that I will gain weight and so I won't get married. One day when she was asking me to stop eating all the stuff I like, I quoted an old quote 'Everything desirable in life is either expensive, or fattening or married to someone else'.
My mother laughed.

In the train

Stuck at Shoranur Junction. In DDN KCVL Superfast Express which refuses to budge even a mm though we are all bored to death. Why doesn't this train move?

And there are two guys sitting opposite me who can't shut up if their lives were at stake. The only issue they discuss are FB friend requests. The senselessness of this generation!

Just wishing the train starts moving soon. I'm tired of listening to a conversation composed entirely of words of one or two syllables.
Oh Lord! Save me.