Household Logical Deductions I

(Mom from kitchen) "Where are the three pieces of cake I had kept in this plate?"

Me: We ate them.

Sis: I ate the two smaller pieces.

Me: Smaller? All were equal! Can you explain that statement of yours?

Sis: Well, you came into the room with two pieces of cake. You gave me one, which obviously had to be the smaller one. And I'm sure you would have taken the two bigger pieces of the three. So, that implies that the last piece, which I finally ate, was the smallest of all the three. Am I right?

Me: Yes, dear Holmes, you are.

A conversation

" Mom, can you believe this? They've lost Mrs. M***'s tapes!"

"What else did you expect?"

"But, come on, those police inspectors who investigated the case put in so much effort to get the evidence. How can the police lose it? This is atrocious! And why the hell are still some people supporting these fellows when there is clear evidence against them?"

"Well, I guess, money has great power."

"But still mom...this is an issue of national security. There is some thing called 'love for your country'. Well, at least I read so in my textbooks."

"Maybe some people missed reading that."

(After five minutes)
"Why don't they just shut down that dumb Consulate in C***? Did you read Mr. Tharoor's statement? That they are searching for the documents?"

" I did"

" Come on mom! How can people be like that? There were clear instructions that American citizens of Pak origin are to be given visa only after clearance. They didn't bother a wee bit about it. So we had the 26/11. Now they don't give the papers. They're not missing, they say; but they are still searching for it!!! What a dumb joke!!! Do they think that people are idiots?"

"People are."

"I guess you are right."

(After a pause, again)
"I can't help but get angry when my government spends such a lot of money on protecting criminals against whom there is clear evidence. I respect the idea of fair trial but it is my sincere belief that when there is clear evidence, the trial shouldn't take such a long time for completion. After all, justice delayed is justice denied."

"We're living on planet earth, my dear"

(After a glance at the paper)
"I think our leaders are forgetting that too. I read somewhere that Mumbai will be submerged within a century."

"One less place for terrorists to strike."

"Seriously, I don't think our government is that wrong about its stand. The West made up this mess. Now they want us to clean it up for them. What do they think we are?(pause). But then again, we too will suffer the effects of global warming and environmental degradation. It is our poor who are going to be affected. We're in this together. I declare this world grossly unfair."

"Welcome back to the real world."

Ai and Chi: The Real Story (or) Love Thy Neighbour

The story of Ai and Chi is so entangled with myths and propaganda that the Gordian knot would easily pale into insignificance beside it. As can be guessed from the title, Ai and Chi were two neighbouring countries separated by a huge mountain range. That range preserved the peace between two ancient civilizations when aviation technology was not developed. However, now the story has changed, with that very mountain range (or portions of it) becoming the bone of contention between the two.

The two ancient civilizations in their time of glory had good relations with each other. (It is always like that - rich countries have an understanding between them. It is usually when countries become poor that they become restless to have war. ) But there came a time in history when both the countries fell to foreign masters. While Ai had only one colonial power ruling it, Chi was ruled by many - so many that I fear they exceeded Chi's population at the time. Even the neighbouring island country had a portion of the pie that was Chi. Chi was, for the name's sake, ruled by a royal family.

We'll call the ruler of Ai as Bn. Bn, according to a treaty with the remaining colonial powers in Chi decided the boundary of Chi to be surrounding a region called Ti. Ti was a predominantly feudal region, lorded by a religious figure.

Then, as usual, there were freedom struggles in both the countries. Ai had a peaceful political freedom movement and a violent independence. Chi on the other hand was a pseudo-independent country. So we cannot exactly fix its independence day. However, we can consider the abolition of slavery and the establishment of a republic under the Capist group as two major turning points. There was a period of warlordism, finally followed by the establishment of a Commist regime that ruled the country with an Iron Hand. (No idea about the gloves!)

The establishment of Ai (also Pai) as an independent nation and Chi as a Commist regime were two concurrent events (well, almost so!) They were the best of friends. Ai helped Chi tremendously to gain international recognition. It is for this reason that the Aians felt cheated when Chi later declared war on them.

What happened was thus. Ti was always an independent region coming under the religious head I had mentioned earlier. Chi had never a claim over the region. But being quite close to Chi, the region shared many cultural traits with Chi. So Chi declared it had a right over it. Went and conquered it. Ai, though shocked, recognized it eventually; but it ruffled many feathers in Chi when it gave refuge to the religious head in its country.

Then came the war. Chi said that it didn't recognize the border as it was drawn without the consent of the Chians. (Which is true. The border was drawn by the foreign masters of Ai and Chi. But it makes no sense to redraw the border every now and then.) It claimed many regions coming under Ai. Aians, who had always believed in the slogan :"Ai-Chi bhai-bhai" were devastated - in war, I mean. (I guess the Chians took it to be "Ai-Chi bye bye" )

It was treachery of the worst kind, according to Ai. The Aian PM died soon after the war ended. Ai was in shock for many years and the old wounds have not healed till now. I doubt whether they will, ever. Because after the war, the Chian relations with Ai's main enemy Pai skyrocketed. Before the Ai-Chi war, Pai also had a border dispute with Chi and had asked Ai to form a united front against Chi. Ai had rejected the proposal. So much for the (dumb) politicians then!

Ai became a much more sensible country after the war. It realized the need to modernize its army, the necessity of never trusting anyone, especially and particularly its neighbours. And also the hollowness of the idea of "the solidarity of sufferers of imperialism." The Commist party in India split.(Attributed to many different reasons. This was one among them. And in case you don't know, the CDI's official stance was that it supported Chi, though many in the party opposed and even revolted against it. This continues as a black mark in its history even today.)

The border dispute continues till day. The main areas are the Asai Chin and the Aru Pra. There is an actual war going on too, between the media of the two countries. (The height of irresponsibility!) There is a tripartite Cold War between Ai, Pai and Chi. Plus an arms race. Pai and Chi have emerged as great friends. Ai and Chi have, however emerged as two major trading partners. And, as in the real world, it is always economics that dictates international relations, we can forget about a war for the time being.

Moral of the story: If you are a country, forget about loving, never even trust your neighbour!