Indian English

I had the shock of a lifetime when an Army Officer told me that in Army, officers usually speak among themselves in English and to their subordinates in Hindi. The ghost of the long dead and buried British empire has not yet let go of the Army men (and women).
Same goes for much of the Government of India.

While the English spoken by most of the Army officers was impeccable, I must say that quite a lot of us (including me) twist the language to suit our needs. So we have dates of exams that are 'preponed' rather than 'advanced'. We 'write' the exams rather than 'take' them. And we use 'ji', 'da' and similar suffixes to introduce inequality and hierarchy in an egalitarian language in which 'I' stands(?) supreme. So we use 'Gandhiji' while others know only of 'Gandhi'. We are hero-worshipping, messiah seeking, dynasty loving  sycophants, after all!

But the funniest versions of Indian English are the ones  you get when you speak to certain customer care executives. Had a chance to speak with such a person one of these days. I'm still in shock.

My dear CC execs, I don't mind your accent. We are not native speakers and speaking correct English is really a tall task. But, can't you at least speak a bit slowly and more clearly when you know that your accent is a bit difficult for others to understand? Speaking as if you have just finished two bottles of Jack Daniels is no way to show that you care for the customers of your company.