And soon we'll leave...

I remember joining my college about four years back. Not exactly excited about studying Electronics and Communication engineering, the first Professor I met asked me,"What's your state rank in AIEEE?" I said:111. "Then why don't you join NIT?" "Sir, I won't get the branch I like." "So you love ECE that much, eh?" I didn't know what to tell him. I gave him a broad, you-may-be-right-but-you-can't-get-it-from-my-face sort of smile and escaped. It is very difficult to smile like that. It needs years of patient practice to produce the perfect smile.

My first year was rather uneventful except for garnering more points at the Genesis that the entire CompSci department put together. I was trying to make out what I wanted in my life. I had become almost an atheist - tried agnoticism, went to the verge of atheism... and not a soul knew my inner turmoil.

God pulled me back. You know, He has made this habit of letting me go away from Him and then pulling me back with such force that makes me wonder how I could go away from Him. It was a miracle that saved me. My mom had a serious brain haemorrhage during my study holidays. I was not supposed to be at home that day, but purely accidentally, I was. Doctors weren't sure about the outcome of my mom's operation, but she's really fine now. 

The second year was less trying. The proper study of electronics began. I remember sitting almost clueless in the classes at the beginning - not able to decode what my Professors were saying. I was scared of the internal exams - I used to start preparing at least the week before. Now, it is two hours before the exam starts that I deign to open the book. I was made the Secretary of ISTE's college chapter. There were some tech fests. I remember winning a prize in a Science Quiz with DJ. Fourth semester was one of the best semesters I ever had. We had some of the best faculty at the college teaching us. We fell in love with the subject, a love which only two years of horrendous lectures by some other teachers could break. This year also saw us talking more to our classmates. Got to know more about them and felt really grateful to have such intelligent and more importantly, such good human beings as friends. You wouldn't believe if I tell you how simple and how noble most of my friends are. Before coming to college, I wouldn't have believed if someone told me that such human beings existed. Satsang, it is - my group of friends. 

The third year saw a remarkable downfall in the quality of our teachers. I will tell you, that all the teachers are qualified well to do their jobs. They teach us well, most of them. But we would like to see more passion in them, for the subject. I believe that more than knowledge, it is a passion for teaching that is required. A teacher should make the students more thirsty for knowledge, not spoon-feed them. We had great teachers during this period too.

I am currently in my fourth year. The seventh semester was, till date, the worst period I ever had in my life. I hope never to have such six months again. The eighth semester got better and soon, we'll be leaving this great institution. Many have their lives temporarily secured - I mean, they have got jobs; some haven't. It has been four glorious years of joy and tears, hopes and fears, inspired moments and desperate times.

I do not know what to say. I do not know what my friends might do. The institution boasts of its stellar alumni-ISRO Chief, Madhavan Nair, many, if not most of the top brass of ISRO, numerous officers in the Civil Services, people in all divisions of the Defence forces. What lies in store for us? God knows.

Life in times of dengue

So the mosquitoes strike again! My mom and sis are down with dengue. I have remained relatively unscathed, much to every one's surprise. The problem is, I am in charge of the kitchen right now!

Well, you need not pray for the souls who are going to eat the dishes I prepare, though I would always prefer someone else cooking. I am fairly non-dangerous,and the dishes I prepare are always on the safe side of law.

The thing is I hate to cook. I mean, I hate someone else directing me when I cook something. Just give me a few general directions on how to go about the dish and I will pull it off. But I get put off when someone (like mom or dad, who else!) closely scrutinise my cooking.

And I have my own tastes, some of which are not necessarily appreciated by the rest of the family.My sister said today morning that the chutney was not particularly good, but she ate three idlis (for almost the first time in her life, mind you!) in the morning with it.

But I still hate cooking!

Here comes the election!!!

When you read in the newspapers about fringe groups promoting 'Indian culture', or you hear the leaders talk about 'unity' or if any such abnormal incident occurs, beware! Elections are nearing. For the next few months, the 'common man' is pampered, the government declares all sorts of sops from free electricity to free food, and to top it all, have a stand-off with Pakistan. It creates a sort of 'feel good' atmosphere, seeing all those 'big leaders' staying in huts to maintain touch with the rural India. (As if they had any touch!) It is the only time when you feel glad that you are a citizen and not a 'leader'.

I will be voting this time around. My first vote, provided I get my election ID card before that. It would be exciting, surely. I mean, having the feeling that these petty parties are taking all these efforts to appease people like me!

Do vote when the election comes!

Religion and Patriotism

I hate it when anyone sends me mail which imply that minorities are not patriotic. The last few years have seen a growing acceptance of such a perception and media is adding fuel to the bonfire.

I get offended at it. Not only because I belong to a minority community, but because I know that I love my country more than I love myself and there is no justification to such biased reports.

I studied in KVs. I am a true-blue KV product and I have never met with any discrimination in my school based on religion, caste, state or anything. We had in our class children belonging to various states - children who had been brought up in places as far as J&K and Assam, studying at the same school in Payyanur, a small town in Kannur district. The Ezhimala Naval Academy was being constructed nearby, and we all took great pride in the fact that it was to be the biggest in Asia once it would be commissioned. Our teachers were patriotic, very, very patriotic and we easily came under their influence. My greatest feat at school was that I studied the 'Jhansi ki Rani' poem - all six pages of it byheart. I loved the poem. Even now, when I read the 'Voh khoon kaho kis mathlab ka...", I feel the flow of adrenaline, same as when I had read it years ago. I admired our national leaders, the kings and the emperors of yore. Ashoka and Akbar both command my respect. I am as much indebted to Mughal empire as the Maurya empire for our culture.

Why is there suddenly a change? Why do I fear alienation in my own country? Why are people being killed in the name of religion? Is belonging to a particular religion the only criterion of deciding how much you love your country? Why does everyone stress the fact that the PM belongs to a minority community? that the former President was also a member of the minority community? Does that, thinking rationally, make any difference?

Why should we be forced to live in the eternal fear of the 'other'? Isn't the other same as us? The same aspirations, same hopes, same fears? Why isolate them because they call God by another name?

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Thanks, DJ

One of my classmates is called 'Sherlock Holmes' of our class. I gave her the epithet.The reasons are
DJ, as she is called, is a rather brilliant, hardworking girl.
She is rather thin and I always wonder if she ever eats.
You call her and tell her your problem. She will either tell you how to solve it or will herself solve it within 15 minutes.
She knows the plate numbers of all the cars of all the people in the department. I have reasons to believe that she knows the numbers of all the cars in the college too.
She is brilliant at making deductions. For example, she can tell the number of members in a family by merely looking at the stuff kept in a car.
She knows the entire gossip making rounds in the college. So, the chances are nil that you get to tell her anything new.

She is our last resort when it comes to asking doubts regarding anything under the sun even remotely connected to academics. "DJ, has the teacher B come to college today?", "DJ, can you tell me the date on which the company X asked our seniors to join?", "DJ, which is the most prestigious medal in Mathematics?", "DJ, how do you solve this problem?", "DJ, can you teach me the third module of Control Systems tomorrow in 45 minutes?"

I was the one who asked that last question to her on the day before The Control Systems examination. Third module consists of the design part - both analog and digital design. It includes PI, PD and PID, phase lead, lag and lead-lag compensator design in both analog and digital design.
I had tried reading the stuff, but it was really difficult to understand how Kuo had designed it. He had just drawn the Bode plots for some questions and arrived at the answer.

I will admit before anyone that I hate to draw. Thanks to my drawing teacher in third standard who was rather nasty towards me, I hate it. Not even five years under a rather brilliant drawing and painting teacher could cure me of my abhorrence. I hate to take the pencil up for drawing a line.

And Bode plot is one of my pet hates.However, I don't mind drawing the Nyquist plot or the root-locus. So I have no rational reason for my hatred towards that wonderful method of plotting the frequency and phase response, I find.

I reached the college at 8:30. I did not have much faith in myself. I left everything to God. He alone could save me.

DJ taught me the third module in 30 minutes. The Control Systems paper was easy. We could hardly believe our luck! The ITC and Microwave papers were difficult. So this was a relief.
I did the questions in third module as well.

Thank God for DJ!

NEWS: Never Ending Worthless Stuff

When I was in kindergarten, my ambition was to become television newsreader. To be more specific, an English newsreader. So I fought for days with my mom and she changed my school. (This is what I say, though she says she was going to change my school anyway.) As I grew up, my ambitions changed, but I had always been fascinated by news and newsreaders. Not any more. I can't bear watching news now- after the advent of those 24-hour news channels. Anything and everything becomes news-even the twists and turns in the stories of some obscure serials in some channels no one watches. I feel terribly sorry for the yesteryear newsreaders - what will their grandchildren think of them when they tell those little kids that they were newsreaders?

I watch the idiot box now only for watching trailers and film songs. I would rather go and suicide than watch one of those dumb parades of designer sari wearing women talking like high priestesses of Indian culture. Those should be banned. It is really degrading. Malayalam serials are no better. I stopped watching even comedies when I was in sixth standard.

Gone are the good old days of Surabhi, Turning Point, Tehtikaat, Byomkesh Bakshi, Anjuman, Farmaan, Aashiyaana, Alif Laila, Lekin Woh Sach Tha, Tarang, Chandrakaantha, Pambaram, Pakida Pakida Pambaram, O. Henry Kathakal, the cartoons in the evenings and Sunday mornings....

Those were the best days of my life...........................................................................